School V College - who really wants to help?

Living with HS is a daily battle. Some days you find that the pain is manageable, you can just about deal with what you have to do that day. But there are other days, maybe its today, when you just don't have the energy to go up against it today. When it just hurts so badly, no matter what you do, which way you sit, which way you try and stand, no matter how hard you silently pray. It just doesn't help! The ones closest to us, whether it's our family, friends, partners or carers they tend to be able to recognise a bad day, but not everyone can.

When I was in school my abscesses came and went quite quickly, they never stayed for longer than a couple of days, except for one very large and very painful one on my lower back (just where the coccyx bone is). I remember being in school one day and we were taking our mock GCSE's, I was quite happy because it was English ( a subject I still love)  I was in a little bit of pain but I had taken some painkillers so it was manageable. 
We walked into the dining hall all prepared, I walked up to my desk and went to take a seat. I don't know if I hit my back on the chair if me bending ripped the abscess open. I'm not sure all I know is something happened.. 
I jumped straight back up and I remember clamping my lips shut, holding my breath and begging myself not to cry. 
Although the pain was excruciating I was more bothered about my friends finding out what it was I was trying to hide. I didn't know what they would think.
After standing there like an idiot for what seemed like forever, but was probably only a minute or so. I went to the office and confided in a teacher.
After that the school actually helped, of course, they had no idea what H.S was but you can't blame them. Before going into exams the teacher would come up and ask if I was okay, if I had a flare up I would tell them and they would find a room with better seating in for me. They really tried their best to help and I'm really grateful for that. 

But not all educational places are that nice. I went to school with a not so good reputation but the teachers in the place helped. But when I went to go somewhere with a glowing reputation it was a completely different place.


New College Durham
I had enrolled on a level 3 extended diploma in health and social care as a way of getting the points I needed to get into university. My first year there was okay, I hadn't had many flare ups, well not many that kept me from going in. I had missed a few days but not may. the problems really became bad when I hit my second year. I'm not going to say that I didn't take a few days off now and then but there really weren't many. The most of the days I took off was because I genuinely could not get in the car to get there without screaming. I even went somedays when I had to lie on my side in my friend's car just to get there. Because they were threatening to kick me off the course.

The college had been told about my HS in the first year at my first "parent-teacher conference" (I was 18 living away from home and they still made me take my Nannie into parents night). 

My Nannie forced me to tell them about the HS so that they would understand why sometimes I wouldn't be able to attend. My then tutor listened carefully was very compassionate and then assured me that all my tutors would be notified. 

However, when I would email in sick, I would get quite rude emails back along the lines of
"Whats wrong this time?" 
"Really? Ill again?" 
"Are you sure that you're not well?"  

 I ended up not bothering emailing in I would phone in and ask for someone who wasn't my tutor. This tutor made me feel so small and insignificant when I would go to the doctors for antibiotics or for a lancing and she would demand I bring a note from the doctor himself.

Everyone else just had to bring an appointment card but that wasn't good enough for me. I even spoke to another member of staff about it but they just thought I was being too sensitive. 

But I don't, This tutor was told on at least three occasions by myself what was wrong with me. She was always informed of why I was off with an email  (like she requested) until she started to be hostile. I'm not sured why this Tutor changed the rules about doctors notes for me but she did and I do not think that it was fair at all!!
All I can be thankful of is I now never have to go back, I know people have had a lot worse situations than this but this has been annoying me for a while now and I just needed to vent. 



Thanks for listening

XOXO

(I would also not trying to say in anyway that New college Durham is a bad place just that this one tutor in my opinion shouldn't be working with young adults.)