Flare ups!

It occurs to me that although thousands around the world share this disease, we each have different experiences. This post will detail what a day may consist of for me personally. I am not too sure that there is a universal word or phrase that is used to describe the times when the abscesses become worse than normal, however the people I speak to refer to them as flare-ups. Therefore this is the wording I will use. 

(I understand that not everyone experiences the same things when they are in the middle of a flare-up, but this is my personal experiences.)

Google. (2018)

When waking up in the morning, that moment before you open your eyes, I almost forget what is about to come, when it hits. The pain, specifically on the back of my thigh starts up. I lay in my bed as long as possible knowing that when I do arise it is only going to get worse. I wince as I position myself on the edge of my bed gritting my teeth knowing what is coming. But, still, I rise. The pain gets worse, but not too much that I cannot walk. 

By lunchtime, it is getting too much to bare so I have my pain medication brought to me so I can look at the cocktail of painkillers that have been prescribed. Tramadol. Gabapentin. Naproxen. and so on and so forth. I might as well blindly put my hand in and randomly pick as none of them work but I am starting to get desperate. 

Google. (2018)

As the day goes on the pain does not get worse but my tolerance for the pain does, I start crying and getting angry, thinking over and over why me? Until I realize that this disease isn't discriminatory, it doesn't care who I am, I was just unlucky. 

I take to the internet to try and find alternative pain relief, scouring page after page of advise of things I have already tried until I give up. There is nothing I can find that will help, the doctors cant help as they don't know anything about your disease and have you leave with the same antibiotics you are resistant too. Therefore all I have left to do is to go home and try and get some sleep knowing that the next day will be the same and so on. Until it 'resolves' itself. 


I just want to add that I haven't written this post for sympathy or pity. I wrote it as I know we all have different experiences when it comes to HS and I wanted to share mine. 

if you would like to share your story openly or anonymously please contact me using the information on the contact page...

Thanks,
XOXOX